Now more and more people start to use sex toys. According to a recent study from the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University Bloomington, the number of women in the United States who say they have used or tried a vibrator for the first time has surpassed 50 percent. This is a good signal that women are starting to focus on themselves rather than others. But that also means that the other 50 percent of women have never used a vibrator. Maybe they are afraid of being judged, or they are still afraid to express their true desires and thoughts. But many of them are trying to take their brave first step，so today I will tell their stories.
Emma's story
I grew up in a very traditional town from a conservative background, and I never really saw myself as the ideal person to own sex toys and when I grew up, masturbation was taboo and there wasn't even a discussion about sex and orgasms other than a strict reminder of the importance of abstinence. I'm not sure I didn't even know what this meant before I went to college. During growing up, I was taught that masturbation is not just a sin but a destructive habit that could be dangerous.
My attitude towards sex changed when I went to college. College was always vibrant and I learned things I had never been told before，I started masturbating in my first year of college. And every time I masturbate, guilt hits me like a train. Sometimes, the shame even ruined my day. I want to embrace my body and take my sex life to the next level, but deep in my heart, I still feel that masturbation is wrong. Until a year later I met my boyfriend，after I experienced a few sexual relations, I started to learn to reconcile my desires. So one day we finally had an honest conversation about sex and masturbation, and I realized that I still felt like a prisoner, trapped by what I had been brought up to believe.
But what I didn’t expect was that a few days later my boyfriend gave me a gift, a vibrator. I thought about it for a few days but decided to use it，at first, I had to go online to check the instructions. I have never used a woman masturbator before, although it is small, it has multiple functions. Then, after using it many times, I learned how to move it, how to tweak the settings in the middle without losing the beat, how to move my body to match the vibration and after a while, I put it down, it's so much better than my little hand.
And was struck by the fact that not only could I use sex toys for a little bit of solitude (or spice up my partner), but that I actually enjoyed the experience. I started experimenting with other types of vibrators. What surprised me was that not only did I have more confidence in my skin, but this confidence began to radiate to other aspects of my life. I also began to understand that masturbation is not a sin, it's a great way to let yourself release. For most of my life, I've been dominated by self-limiting beliefs, such as that I can never do it or that I can't do it. This time I began to realize that the limits I had set on myself were entirely imaginary. I can speak up without outside recognition and feel confident in my ability to make my own decisions.
Using a vibrator not only boosted my self-confidence but also improved my sex life with my boyfriend. And the same time, we have a better understanding and a better relationship. I've had enough of the time when I restrained myself，now I choose to listen to myself and learn how to be more confident in making decisions that are right for me.
Caroline's story
When I was 39, there was a turning point in my life，I got divorced. I was depressed for a long time，cause I didn't expect my married life to come to an end. This also means from years of reliable, meaningful and safe sex to no sex at all. Just when I was feeling distressed, my best friend told me that I should buy a vibrator. I followed her advice and searched the Internet for vibrators and bought a vibrator suitable for beginners. I have never used a vibrator，before the package arrived, I kept thinking am I made the right decision？ Is the vibrator really suitable for me? Will I regret it? When I received it, I knew that my choice was not wrong. It called Clitoral Vibrator I had never seen one up close before. It's a small one, that you can hold it with one hand but it’s very powerful.
I was so nervous the first time I use it， I didn't want anyone to know what I was doing so I waited until the children were back in their rooms and all asleep. I even locked my bedroom door before I used it. Surprisingly it felt good，too good to be true. I can't remember the last time I had an orgasm，a year or so before my divorce, when my sexuality went into hibernation mode and I haven’t had sex for a long time. My slowly disintegrating marriage caused too much stress and anxiety.
To me using a vibrator is a completely different experience than having sex with someone else, vibrators give me very focused, intense orgasms. It's a reliable stimulation of my clitoris, my toes bend. When I use the vibrator, I often have full-body orgasms as well, which is great.
Even I can masturbate without any vibrators, but the orgasms I have with vibrators are much more powerful. My vibrator allows me to pace myself during orgasm. When I use it on my own, I have complete control over how long I want to play before orgasm It encourages me to make time for myself and find out what kind of contact and stimulation is best for me. The vibrator eased the anxiety and insecurity I had felt for so long. Even though I’m still single, I’m still facing life positively，and I’ll date different people. My children are happy for me because I am so much happier and more active.
I am still expanding my vibrator collection， for myself to enjoy more sexual pleasure and to know more about my body. I’ve never felt more control of my life, my body, and my wellness. You don't need a major turning point in your life to rediscover your sexuality，you just need to have an open mind and a willingness to start connecting with a part of your body. Believe me, to follow your own heart to make choices, make yourself feel satisfied is the most important thing.
Something I want to say
After reading the two stories above，there is something I need to say. I always feel that sexual awakening and “sexual autonomy” are very important steps in our adulthood and even independence from our family. I want to encourage girls to embrace their bodies and desires，using sex toys is just a way of self-exploration. If you don't deliberately escape, and know how to please yourself, you will know that sex comes first to serve yourself, and then to enjoy with each other.
You should know that sexual needs are innate needs of everyone, just like eating and drinking water, it's normal. The pursuit of sexual pleasure is the right of everyone, regardless of gender. It is not shameful for girls to boldly put forward their sexual needs! Especially in today’s high-pressure situation, you may feel very stressed. Masturbation can not only bring you pleasure but also help you release hormones. At the same time, it can help you release your stress and get better sleep. Of course, it doesn’t mean that you must try masturbation. If you are satisfied with your current situation, then your happiness is the most important thing.
suggestion
We have always said that we must learn to love ourselves first and then love others, no matter in any relationship. I have always supported both men and women to take the initiative to satisfy their desires. Life is only a few decades, and there are not many things that make people happy. Don't lose physical happiness anymore!
